Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
