He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
