RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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