if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
