I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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