Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Randomize
