Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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