So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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