Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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