just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
