i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
