he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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