My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
