I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
