Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
