I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
All the doctor said was why
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
