there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
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Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
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I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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