He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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