He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
