I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
