I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
