she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
