glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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