No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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