I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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