grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
