Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
