sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
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GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
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Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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