I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
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Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
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Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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