I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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