I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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