hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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