Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
