ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
