Operation Purity has been aborted
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
