Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize