i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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