Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
