Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
