i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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