sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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