I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
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