I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
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The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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