My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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