so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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