Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize