i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Come share oat with me in your robe
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
YAS. BRING CRAB.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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