dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Your penis caused this!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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