So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
