marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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