im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
