what day is it and did you see me today?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
