Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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