the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
