Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
