I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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