well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
