Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
