i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
