O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
