Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
