IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
