I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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