The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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