this boner is exhausting
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
