he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
there was a trapeze. enough said
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
