i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
