Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Randomize
