don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
