i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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