she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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